Traveling Far And Wide

Liam took a deep breath, determined not to flinch when she thanked him again. She was obviously healed, or nearly there. Her color--at least as much color as you could expect in a vampire--was returning, and she didn't seem to be holding it against him. So he had to let it go. It would only make things awkward, and it continuously banged against his pride to apologize for anything. Though it had been his fault, and he was completely aware of that.

She was fine now. That was what mattered, right?

He had to wonder as she took a seat in the chair by him. She continued to smile, and, from his vantage, he couldn't tell whether or not if it was a real smile, or if she was simply trying to set him at ease. He supposed he could be thankful for either.

" That's not necessary. I'm not going anywhere. Unless you want me to go."

He was marginally relieved, and yet still terrified at the same time. If she stayed, that only gave him more opportunities to do something rash and callous again. Liam clasped his hands together in front of him, trying not to let the fear spill across his face.

Now he was simply underestimating himself. This had been, and very well would be, the only time he'd ever lost control in such a way. He pursed his lips. Well, the only time since when he'd been first created. But uncontrollable blood lust in newborns was to be expected. He had to stop holding that one against himself as well.

Liam took another deep, cleansing breath, blocking out the scent of human blood still coursing through her veins the best that he could, and attempted a smile for the first time in the last couple of hours. It hadn't truly been that long, but the smile already felt crooked and out of practice.

"No, I'd like it if you stayed." Would he? Should he encourage her?

Liam considered her leaving, thought of how long he'd been alone, and continued to feel that some company, especially of his own species, would do him some good.

"I still feel that I owe you something. More than an apology. What I did was inexcusable. Perhaps I could make it up to you?" he impored. "Have you ever been to a hot spring? I could take you to one, if you'd like. You could probably use that relaxation after such a long day."

He tried to force his smile wider. He hadn't a clue where the idea of the hot springs had come from, but he was going to let it ride. Perhaps it was just what the doctor called for. In a manner of speaking.

ooc: Sorry this took me so long! I have what feels like a million different english classes now that all keep assigning reading! ;-; I'll try to keep up better.

"No, I'd like it if you stayed."

Liam’s remark completely through her off guard. She stopped looking around his house and her eyes shifted to stare straight at him and only him. He was so serious and uncertain with it. It had made her whole body freeze in place. Not that the coldness of her skin wouldn’t have done it, but his words were much more of an effect than the cold would be to any other immortal.

Arden wasn’t sure what to think of, even if there was anything that she could say. The tension between them was so strong during his transformation. It made her feel so weak and powerless. They were both completely different from the people they were when they had first met.

Liam was defiantly like no other vampire she had ever met before. One of the most interesting, responsibly caring creature. She tried to stop staring at him. Hoping that he wouldn’t change his mind on liking her to stay. Having some crazy, insane person that you, still, just barely met, and almost killed, staring at you is the best scene to see after their passionate game of play.

"I still feel that I owe you something."

Once Arden had come too, a sad and distant look creased across her face. She didn’t think that he had owed her anything, it was her fault. It was nice of him to be trying to take care of his responsibility over his actions. Something she should’ve done with Blake. He told her the risks of a newborn and thought that she could handle it.

"What I did was inexcusable. "

What she had done was inexcusable. Arden couldn’t help but look down at her hands as the those words replayed over and over again in her head. Her face was almost expressionless and full of guilt, regret and remorse. It replayed itself repeatedly, along with Liam’s little uncontrolled game of play; just like the perfect horror filled movie.

“ You don’t owe me anything. It was all my fault. I should’ve listened when you had warned me.” Her eyes were full of sadness and her voice was still sweet but with a hidden crack of oncoming crying. But she wasn’t going to let herself cry, not in front of someone who strangely reminded her of the one that cared and watched out for. She was detached and hoped that she hadn’t made him feel worse again. But it was true; she should’ve left when she had the chance.

She thought more and more into it and hoped that she wouldn’t do the same back to him, or worse, again. She was still a fledgling and wasn’t at all knowledgeable on how to attack the thirst. Arden winced and made a glaring face at her hands. Then she stopped moving completely, to await his mind changing response.

ooc: Sorry that it took me so long. I couldn't quite tink of anything long/ good enough. I'm not so sure this is but its all i could come up with that i thought worked XD. Plus finals and wrok last week.

Liam saw the anguish cross her face, and he had to wonder what exactly it was that she was holding inside of herself that sent such pain through her. He felt uncomfortable watching it play across her face for more than one reason. Mostly, it made him think of another woman, another time, when he hadn’t been able to do anything about that pain. It made him feel helpless, yet desperate to fight it. Something about her was compelling him in such strange directions.

He could almost see the tears threatening to well up in her eyes, and Liam was all but undone. The bitter, reclusive vampire faded into the background as some of his old self resurfaced. She reminded him too much of the past, too much of the things he wished he’d done and now regretted for his inactive approach. Staring at her, he almost felt that he could change it.

But the past was done, and all he had now was a secretive woman in his midst that was harboring something that was obviously very painful to her.

Once upon a time, Liam had been compassionate. Once upon a time, he’d known how to smooth over the hurt, to gloss over the pain. Once upon a time, he wouldn’t have been afraid to take a woman in his arms and soothe her distress. Now, he was afraid to go anywhere near Arden Harvina, lest he lose his control again.

Still, he couldn’t very well stand here and let her struggle with her demons. There was something in him that wouldn’t quite allow it. Not that mistake again. Not ever again. He’d never stand idly by and watch someone else suffer again. He didn’t have it in him anymore.

Carefully, he took a step toward her, testing her as much as he tested himself.

“It wasn’t your fault. I hardly gave you a warning at all,” he told her.

He hadn’t been prepared. The warning signs had been there, but he’d ignored them in his feeble attempt to outsmart the hunger. Of course that was impossible. The thirst always got the better of the vampire. It was simply a fact of immortal life.

Those facts were easy to comprehend. They were innate and ageless. He’d simply been naïve. He’d simply had an error in his better judgement for a brief expanse of time. It was a silly, stupid mistake.

Just like this might be as well. Maybe he was making a mistake stepping toward her, literally and figuratively. But, yet again, he couldn’t deny the magnetism that drew him ever closer to her, as if his sole purpose was to find her wounds and heal them. So much torment within her. What was it from?

Why did he care?

Liam didn’t know, but he soon found himself toe-to-toe with Arden. With a great amount of care, he lifted his pale, cold hand and cupped her cheek, staring carefully into her eyes as he rubbed his thumb over her cheek bone. Something about the comforting gesture soothed him as well.

So long since he’d had contact with another. So long since he’d been able to feel. The events of only an hour before faded away. He could smell her blood—the human blood he’d given her—but now, with his full stomach, it soothed as much as it tempted him. Something oddly comforting about being near it, near her.

“What’s behind those eyes of yours?” he questioned softly. “I can’t decide which one of us is apologizing more. But the more I listen, the more I think you’re apologizing for something else. What is it that you’re hiding, Arden?”

His gaze softened, impossibly. For a moment, his expression was almost tender, stuck somewhere between the past and the present. The feel of her smooth, perfect cheek against his palm was wonderful.

“I’m not going to ask you to leave, so it looks like we’ll be living together for awhile now. At least until you want to move on,” he told her. “Most days, I keep to myself, I don’t ask questions, but there’s something about the look in your eyes right now…”

Liam blinked, as if surfacing from a trance. “So what is it?”

Liam's test making move shocked her out of her frozen trance. He did have a change of mind but not the change of mine that she was looking for. She was looking for him to tell her to leave and never come back, but instead he changed his mind on something else. Something that she wasn't quite sure on. It felt as though he was being pulled to her, like two magnets meeting each other. She started getting confused on what he was doing. She instinctively stood up and waited for him.

The tears in her eyes had built up even more by the time he was toe-to-toe with her. His expression had changed and so did the vibe she felt coming from him.

When his hand touched her cheek, a tear ran down the middle of her cheek, making trail for the rest to follow. Through water filled eyes she stared back into his care-filled eyes as she let her face lay cupped in his hand. His thumb rubbing her cheek bone soothed her.

He was so strong that it made her feel so weak. She told herself that she wasn't going to cry; not in front of him. The soothing wasn't soothing enough. While she though how weak she was, more tears streamed down her face.

As much as she wanted to close her eyes and hold back the tears, she couldn't. Liam's eye's held some sort control over her, control that she was willing to let him have.

“What’s behind those eyes of yours? I can’t decide which one of us is apologizing more. But the more I listen, the more I think you’re apologizing for something else. What is it that you’re hiding, Arden?”

There was a lot behind her eyes. She wasn't sure what was what anymore. He was partially right; she was apologizing for something else. But not only for her past, but also for not listening to his warnings when she should've and she is never going to let herself live that down. With her living forever, she has something to keep her up for eternity.

His hand her cheek felt so smooth and comforting. Like he was never going to leave her, no matter what. Despite her mixed and out of control feelings, his hand felt wonderful on her face.

"I’m not going to ask you to leave, so it looks like we’ll be living together for awhile now. At least until you want to move on. Most days, I keep to myself, I don’t ask questions, but there’s something about the look in your eyes right now…”

Not asking her to leave surprised her a little more. As well as living in his nice home, in it with him. No one had ever said that they weren't going to ask her to leave. Of course, they never really needed too. She may not want to move on this time. He is the first to ever be this caring and tender with her and mean it. Not just act it to be something that they weren't.

She always kept to herself; she still does. For some reason that she can't explain, she may not keep to herself this time. Liam was making her feel safe and protected that she could almost say anything and not have to worry.

" I don't want to hurt you too," she softly replied. She brought her hands up and placed them on his waist, still staring into his eyes. Wondering if her comment had made things more confusing for him. She took a deep; his sent filling her lungs and her chest. His sent somehow calmed her a little, but she wondered how long it would last.

For a moment, Liam said nothing, but merely stared at her, bemused. Then, with a slow, languid transition, his concentrated frown spread into a slightly devilish smile. She felt soft and impossibly breakable under his touch, and she was worried about him? It seemed ironically humorous to Liam. He'd never had anyone fear for him before. Most either didn't care or despised him enough to hope that something truly awful did become of him. He wasn't the friend-making type, nor had he ever cared to be. So he still wasn't quite certain why he was standing here, allowing a woman into his house, and caressing that woman's face, inviting her to stay. How absurd.

"Hurt me?" Liam repeated, the humor twinkling in his eyes now. "I doubt that's something you need to worry about, Arden."

He didn't want to mention that he was the one who had only just hurt her, and she'd been able to do nothing to stop him. At least, in her upset state, she was far more powerless in his hands than he was in hers. The idea of her hurting him wasn't something that Liam could take seriously. Partially because of his own stubborn pride and arrogance, but also because he didn't feel like she had any desire too.

Briefly, almost painfully, a different woman flashed through his thoughts: long, dark hair, angry eyes, and lovely hands curled into fists. Just waiting to break his jaw. Liam blinked, and she was gone. A ghost of his past that continued to haunt him. One he had to shuffle aside, as she had surely done to his memory as well. He didn't have time for memories. Right now, his only concern was the present, and Arden Harvina was part of it.

Liam was brought out of his thoughts by the sudden warmth at his sides. Surprised, he found that Arden's hands had found his waist, light and surprisingly warm for a vampire's touch. Perhaps he was imagining the warmth, taken off guard by a touch. So few had ever dared touch him. He hadn't allowed many to get within range.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, Liam didn't pull away from Arden, instead, he continued to regard her carefully. He could almost see her unknown burden in her gaze. Did he want to share it with her? Really? He wasn't quite sure. It'd been a long time since he'd been a shoulder for anyone. He didn't know if he remembered how. But he did know that he enjoyed the feel of her hands at his waist a little too much. Was he growing soft after so long?

His smile faded slightly, turning quizzical, almost anxious. He was digging too deep. Slightly alarmed, Liam allowed his hand to drop down to her chin, cupping it, and tilting her head so that she looked up at him, square in the face. Maybe her eyes would tell him what he wanted to know.

"Why do you fear hurting me?" he questioned softly. "I assure you, you won't."

There had been many that tried. A few had nearly succeeded, but, thus far, he'd come away nearly unscathed from everything dangerous that had crossed his path so far. Surely there was nothing to fear from one, lone vampire. Except, perhaps, the enjoyment of her touch. He should pull away now.

But he didn't.

"I can give you time, if that's what you need," Liam was surprised to hear himself tell her. "I can be patient. When you feel ready to share your secret, I'll listen."

It was mildly ridiculous. He truly wasn't a patient man. He never had been. Why was he offering to be something that he wasn't quite sure was possible? Why was he so curious about her secret anyway? It wasn't as if he didn't have enough of his own problems to deal with.

All right, that was a stretch. There weren't many problems currently in his path. He kept himself too secluded to run into much trouble. Perhaps that was why the prospect of Arden's dilemma was intriguing. Or maybe he was just reading too much into this altogether. But he couldn't stop.

Smiling, Liam ammended his previous comment, "But I'm really only patient for so long, so let's not test it too much, shall we? You can share my house, my time, but you'll eventually have to tell me what it is that you're hiding. I'm a curious person."

He waited for her reaction, not relinquishing his hold on her chin.

Arden felt it odd that a vampire felt warm under her hands. She couldn't tell rather he felt the same or if it was just her. It felt nice to feel the warmth in her hands again; even if it wasn't even real and she was just imagining it.

Why did she think that she could hurt him?

She couldn't think of any reason as to why or how she could hurt him. She's still a fledgling after being on her own for a little over a hundred years. She didn't even know why she was worrying about it so much; he's obviously been a vampire longer than her and has more experience and control then she does. She admired it in a way that she didn't even know herself.


Her past was really starting to get harder and harder for her to handle. It felt as though it was causing ht burn in her right shoulder, just below her neck. She wants to so badly to just spill it all out to Liam, but she doesn't want to sound as weak as she is to him. She let him cup her chin in his hands. She just stared into his eyes. If she could cry, that's what she would be doing; horribly.

The pain and rage that she felt she was sure that he could see in her eyes. Usually its first seen in the tears that a person would shed. But, of course, she isn't just any person; she's not even human.

It calmed her a bit when he said that he could be patient and that he would listen when she was ready to talk. Most people of today aren't like that. She was a bit shocked to hear it from Liam; he's arrogant, like most people that she's met here.

Her hands still lay on his waist and her eyes still staring into his. She couldn't bring herself to figure out why he hadn't pulled away yet or why she hasn't let go. She wasn't even sure that she cared either.

"The reason I fear of hurting you is because I've done it before. I don't know what I'm capable of." She replied with a little shakiness and uncertainty in her voice. She wasn't even sure of what she was saying herself.

The image of the man that saved her life vastly appeared in her head. It was so perfect, as if he had never died. The man disappeared, but she gripped tighter; as if to make sure that Liam wouldn't leave her too.

"I killed him.", a faint whisper of sadness left her lips. It was lower then a humans ear frequency, so only a another vampire or some other type of creature with vampire-like hearing would've heard her.

She knew Liam heard her, so her body weakened even more in his arms. All that remained the same was the grip she had on his waist. She tried to find some strength while her eyes searched for a reply.

Liam listened quietly to her. He could see the pain reflecting in her eyes as she told him of the horror she harbored. The guilt was there as well. A tiny sliver of himself reacted with sympathy—a sliver so deeply buried that he almost didn’t notice it. Underneath his hardened exterior still lurked the human he had once been and his own sense of guilt he had lived with through the centuries from the deeds he had committed. It was only because he was older that he’d learned to live with them while Arden was still haunted by her own. Or perhaps he was truly that heartless. He would have preferred to think that he was. It was easier than feeling. He had decided long ago to stop feeling.

But it was harder than he’d imagined. It had been easy, until this point, only because he’d been alone. He’d sealed himself off from others in attempt to resist emotional ties. It had worked, successfully, until Arden had wandered across his path. With her hands clenching at his sides, Liam was reminded of another life and the things he still hid from. The things he refused to mourn for. Could just her touch release the things he’d surpressed? It made him uncomfortable. He wanted to pull out of her hold, but he couldn’t seem to. As much as he feared it, it had been too long since he’d felt companionship.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He wasn’t sure if he was speaking to himself or Arden, but, regardless, it was a surprising statement to him. It almost startled him. Why was he trying to comfort anyone? It wasn’t his business or his concern. He had his own life and problems. He didn’t want to remember the past. But it was here now, filling the room around them.

“I understand how you feel, Arden, but you have to let it go. You’ve been cursed to live forever. You won’t want to live with that guilt for eternity.”

He paused, frowned. “I should know.”

It was like preaching to himself, and he found it unpleasant. Unpleasant, because it brought back to his mind a woman’s face. A woman that was long gone. One he should have happily forgotten. It was in the past. It was over. Because he was afraid to face it or speak of it, Liam abruptly dropped his hands and backed carefully away from Arden and out of her grip. He turned his back to her. He tried to ignore it.

But it seemed that it had finally reached its moment to be released, and even faced away from Arden, he couldn’t keep it in.

“When I first was turned, I came upon a woman and her father. I killed her father without thought, and then I went for the woman. I nearly killed her as well, but she was beautiful and strong and something about her stopped me. I left her severely wounded on the forest floor.”

He swallowed, remembering. “She found me years later. She was like me then, but even more beautiful than I remembered. I wanted her, and it was then that I realized it was more than just her blood that had attracted me. She hated me for what I had done. We fought, but I pursued her. I let her vent her rage, but I made her love me.”

He had never denied that he was a monster, but it was worse now that he was facing the truth in a memory that reminded him so forcefully of that truth. Demona Morgan would always be his cross to bear.

“She did, but it couldn’t erase what I’d done. She left me. I haven’t seen her since. But I live with what I did to her and what it, in turn, did to me. You don’t want to be like me, Arden. You don’t want to live with something like this.”

His hands curled into tight fists at his sides. It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to feel anything, let alone to speak it out loud. Perhaps he was a fool for sharing it now, with a woman he hardly knew, but it seemed that this was the moment in which it was finally ready to be released.

Pained, Liam turned back to face her. His blue eyes were dark and shadowed with something only he could feel. Staring at Arden, he thought he might know why he had told her. Torn as she was, pained as she felt for her mistakes, she reminded him in that instant of the dark-haired woman he had robbed of a life and father. She reminded him of the past he mourned. Liam inhaled a breath and dropped his gaze.

He was truly pathetic.

"I'm selfish. I always have been. I should have told you to leave before, Arden, but I didn't. That proves it."

Arden kept staring into his eyes. Trying to search for any kind of answer. Was she trying too hard to look for something? Even if it was false? She wasn't so sure herself. This had always happened to her and it made her feel like she felt nothing. Was she loosing the sense of how to care? Any of her feelings at all?

Nope. That's for sure. If she were too, she wouldn't feel so bad at the same time.

She watched Liam stand there staring back at her. She knew that he was thinking of something and again she wanted to know what. When he finally said something, she couldn't believe that he had said that. Of course it was her fault! Who's else was it? It surely wasn't Blake's. Anger started rising inside her.

"What are you talking about? Of course it was my fault. I was the one that lost control and didn't even try to fight it!" Deep inside her a fire surrounded by thorns started flaring up and when she tried to get a mental grip on it and calm it down. Every time this happened it hurt like hell! She wouldn't deny that, even if her life depended on it. The only difference was that this time it didn't hurt as much.

She tried harder and harder to push the pain away. It hurt so much more with every attempt. It was like it had a mind of its own. It comes unknowingly and its a trip to get it to leave. Then she felt her hands free of Liam. She looked at him as he backed away from her. She immediately grabbed at her chest and tried rubbing it, hoping to soothe the pain and at the same time she couldn't help but think that she had done something wrong.

Arden kept rubbing her chest while she listened to Liam. Along with the pain from the thorny fire, every word he said pained her. She wasn't sure if it was cause she was caring or if it was cause she was a pushover. She didn't want to know the answer to that. She just wanted to walk over to him and comfort him. But she couldn't. Her legs wouldn't move.

When he finished, she couldn't believe that anyone could feel worse or similar to what she felt at the beginning of her cursed, new life. She selfishly thought that she was the only one.

"And you honestly think that I don't live with what I did? And rather I like it or not I have no choice but to live with it. It makes me feel so damn weak every time I think about it." , she cried out. Once again her invisible tears were coming. She looked down and started thinking how pathetic she was being.

"I'm selfish. I always have been. I should have told you to leave before, Arden, but I didn't. That proves it."

She looked up at him and gripped her chest. " Do you wish for me to leave?" She hoped not but if it were to get things back to normal then his wish would be her command.

"Ow!" A whispered cry leaked out of her mouth. She hoped that he didn't hear that. She didn't want to give him any reason to have her stay now that she was in physical pain. Arden winced and felt her strength weaken in her knees. She clutched her chest a little bit harder. She struggled to keep him from noticing while she waited for his response.